A variety shop in Trench Town sells bleaching cream along with other products. - Norman Grindley/Deputy Chief Photographer

On Christmas Eve, I went to downtown Kingston to do some shopping for the wife and children. I hadn't done so in Kingston for ages. I came off the bus at East Parade. Just as I entered King Street, a woman of a kind that I have never seen before screamed something at me in a strange drawl.

Startled, I stopped to hear what she was saying, but I became horrified because I did not recognise her as an earthling. Her hands and feet were black, but her face was a pale yellow. Her cheeks were blistered and inflated like the balloons at the hindquarters of baboons. Her hair was coarse and thick, cascading down her back. It seemed to weigh about 10 lb. Yet, what drove fear into me were her eyelashes. They were unusually long and jet black, like a spider's legs coming from her eyes.

sharp claws

I rushed down the street, only to be confronted by another eerie being with a box of dolls in her hands. She said, "Nice genkleman, buy supp'n from mi noh," and attempted to touch my shoulder. I pulled away, for she had very long and sharp claws that were well decorated. She, too, had long hair, only that hers was blond. I got very nervous because her eyes were blue like the white dolls' in her box. I ran around her. She laughed uproariously, and shouted, "Ketch him, ketch him!"

Farther along, three of them surrounded me. They wore long socks up to their knees. It was hot and moist and I couldn't understand why, in that type of weather. The one in the middle had on silver-looking earrings, matching bangles, silver tights and shoes, and carried a big silver bag. Her face, too, was yellowish, but was replete with white residues, like when lizards are changing skin. I have never seen a person change skin like that.

aggressive look

I attempted to go into a store and a woman of great proportion was in the way. Her belly blocked my path. She gave me the most aggressive look, and shouted, "Yuh bline!" I looked at her shiny fire-red hair that looked like the feathers of a senseh fowl. I wondered whether she, too, lay eggs. I turned back, for the dragon tattoo on her massive arm said it all.

I ran back up the street, back towards the bus terminus, but it was scarier. They were everywhere, selling sundry merchandise and shouting at the top of their voices. "What manner of women are these? Where are they from, and how did they get here?" I asked myself. To avoid them, I ran down a side lane. And there they were, being processed in sidewalk salons.

I was on a street where part of the transformation was taking place. I ran ever faster. When I reached the bus, I was out of breath. I found a corner seat at the back, hoping that the bus would pull out very fast. I soon fell asleep and dreamed that I was attacked by long-haired aliens. As one was about to put her claws to my neck, a cellphone rang.

A woman beside me answered. "Yes mi dear, a lang time mi no goh look fi mi maddaa," she said. I slowly lifted my head from the back of the seat before me and looked to my left. The first things I saw were the black knuckles on very white fingers holding a flat flip phone. The fingernails were long and colourful. My heart skipped a beat as my eyes rested on a head of black, voluminous hair.

The brief conversation ended with her saying, "Den nuh mus, mi affi come back fi Passa Passa." She then turned towards me and smiled. Her pale face was a stark contrast to her black neck and lips. "Yes baby looove, yuh fraid a mi, how yuh look soooh? Talk up de tings dem!" But, it was when she touched my trembling left leg that my heart stood still.

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