Jennifer Keane-Dawes, Contributor

KEANE-DAWES

Me dear mam:

De other day me an dis foreign yardie get to talking. How, after him dress up eena him three piece suit an deh a dis foreign function wid a heap a backra an two other Black man. Him seh, de backra speaka neva do a ting more dan gi out das, if government a gi rights to ooman an black people, dis as cheap dem gi rights to dawg an puss. Well yardie seh if yu did stick him wid a pin. Yu wouldn't fine a drap a blood. De way him did bex. An shame an ebryting inna one. Well, a suh comes wi begin talk how, when yu look pon it. A same way some smady a yard nuh hab nuh mannas. For dem doan know when fe kibba dem mout.

Like dis ooman me hear bout a dis function a yard de other day. Tek fe argiment sake she name Jean. An de ooman she tek de libaty wid name Doris.

Jean: (Tan up side a de table wid de food) Doris she, dress to puss foot. Walk een. For she a de guest a hana.

Suh Jean tek one look pon har an gi out in front a ebrybaddy: "Wait! Daris! Massy gad! A yu dat? What a way yu get big an swaaty!" Yu can imagine how Doris shame ma? Mark yu. She couldn't remark how Doris clothes, har hair, or anything else look good. No man. She had was fe fine de wus ting fe seh. Well, she notice Doris. But neva hab no looking glass har yard fe notice how. Sake a how har two foot K. Like Zed. De dressmaker did hab a warm time wid de tape meja. Suh, a same gad way she tun up a de function. Claims she eena pants suit. Wid de trousis foot tun eena funnel. An well kallah up roun de two knee cup like Moom bus fare inna har kerchief.

Well, unlike Doris weh de libaty lef speechless. Vie had de right ansah fe Shirley. For me dear mam, Shirley see Vie generation a dis place.

Shirley: "Massy gad! A yu dat? What a way yu luge! How yu get suh big?" An me dear mam, all de beg de people dem a beg Shirley fe ease off, she wouldn't stop chat. Until Vie buss roun de kanah pon one speed. "Lef him. An go look bout yu mout! De whole a yu teet dem a ratten!" Well, dat shet up Shirley pam.

mash up

Come back again, dis foreign yardie fly dung as guest speaka a yard. An after him deliver him good, good speech. Get standing ovation.

A yardie come up to him, shake him han, an seh all de talk him did a talk, him did puzzle fe see how him look suh tin an mash up. If a tek him did tek sick a fareign an come dung fe stay. Suh me dear mam, me question is dis. Wha mek some people always gravitate fuss fe fine fault? Wah mek when Massa God bless yu. One crab always crawl quick fe memba yu seh yu use to batter batter like Portland breadfruit? But tell dem yu past a testimony of how God good. Skin yu teet. But gi little venge to yu feelings an seh something like: "Bwoy. Yu care yu tings eeh? Nuh da gabardine outfit ya yu did wear g'a Bob Marley fineral? It still fit yu good doah."

Cho. A nayly hundred year since Bob dead. But dem still hab on de piece a crucus bag an a tek libaty. Cho. Dem ya people weh love criticise people bawn wid a definite insensitivity gene yaw.

Tek care.

Dr Jennifer Keane-Dawes is a professor of communication at Elizabeth City State University, a constituent institution of the University of North Carolina System. Send your email to: jkd876@yahoo.com