Chemistry ... sparks ... magnetic attractions ... love spell ... all describe the 'you-are-the-one' feeling when you meet a potential partner. There is the desire for a lasting 'soulmate' connection with mutual dedication, open communication and a willingness to stick together when the initial chemistry and sexual sparks die.
Sandra and Luther Wilsoncould hardly believe the accuracy of a soulmate reading from Astrology.com. As a result, the couple has used the reading to improve the sexual bond in their marriage. When I met with the couple, they had developed practical strategies to improve the sexual energies in the four-year old union.
Astrology
The reading for the couple, with Sandra born May 17 and Luther born January 8, follows:
"You share an intense and complex sexual bond. You may feel simultaneously deeply attracted to and repelled by one another, and somehow unable to avoid one another. In your sex play you draw out one another's most hidden desires and urges, and it is this sort of animalism that is so unnerving that it's both intensely erotic - and almost frightening.
Sex is invariably intense, direct and never superficial. Powerful passions and the hidden, darker sides of your personalities are revealed through your intimate games. If one or both of you can't handle feeling so 'exposed', your day-to-day relationship will become very tense. Be wary of a tendency toward jealousy and competitiveness. The fascination that you feel for one another quickly turns to envy if you ever feel like you are competing for one another's attention rather than cooperating together ..."
Sexual compatibility requires a willing partner with an open mind to prevent sex from being routine to becoming frequent passionate celebrations. The critical factor is for each partner to decide to move beyond sex as habit, routine and a duty. The intention should be, focus on problems with intimacy, such as orgasms, erections and to find solutions for their specific solutions. The couple should embrace a spirit of openness to new attitudes, experiences and feelings.
Joyful sex
As sexual soulmates, important goals can assist each other to achieve joyful sex with overwhelming passion. Dr Victoria Lee, writing in Soulful Sex, suggests:
Becoming aware of the scared potential in all human touch, which adds meaningfulness to every sexual behaviour.
Increasing your own and your partner's self-acceptance, appreciating each other's imperfect body as a sacred gift. What your partner sees in you is really what you are. Your emotional-sexual soulmate is really what you see when you look in the mirror. The mirror-image that you should accept is the same one that you should take in to the act of lovemaking. If you feel badly about your 'big belly' you should not let it hinder you from shedding your clothes or to make love in the light. If the protrusion of your mid-section is annoying you, then you should do something to reduce it.
Strengthening your mutual imagination to take intimacy to a higher, energised level. Learn to play and experiment in bed, remembering that playfulness is a God-given attribute that is often underutilised.
Deepening each partner's courage, approaching lovemaking with a willingness to let go - to lose oneself, to make noise, scream with laughter or pleasure, becoming more aroused than before. Simply put, it means baring your soul to your partner, and that is what soulmates are for. It calls for honesty to explore new techniques establishing acceptable comfort level for each partner.
Learning to laugh more, lightening up about sex as a playful activity. Laughter specialist Winnie Anderson-Brown believes that laughter is the best medicine for every aspects of one's life, including the sexual aspect.
Trust
Establishing sexual soulmate relationships should have trust as the foundation of the relationship. It is essential so that when you laugh, your partner does not feel that you are laughing at him or her. The level of trust should be such that you can feel comfortable to share any feelings with your partner. Some partners have difficulties trusting each other as they did not learn during childhood and growing up in a family. As adults you may have to learn to trust step by step. It is only by trusting deeply that you will be able to experience the depths of sexual love, joyful passion and intimate bonding.
Names changed
A TRUST EXERCISE
The objective of the exercise is to help you to become aware of and increase your level of trust toward your partner.
1. Set aside one hour when you can be alone together without interruption.
2. Allow your partner to blindfold you and allow him/her to lead you around, going outside if possible. You will rely on your partner for direction, leadership and safety.
3. Think of how you feel.
4. Spend some more time in some form of physical touching, such as a back rub, caressing or whatever else your partner may feel to do.
5. Switch roles after 15 minutes.
6. Discuss the feelings you had during the exercise and what you would have wanted to feel more trusting.
- Dr Victoria Lee
As you change attitude and deepen trust, your journey to becoming sexual soulmates should be highlighted with passionate, fulfilling sex and an appreciation of your being by your intimate partner.
But only someone who is ready for everything, who doesn't exclude any experience, even the most incomprehensible, will live the relationship with another person as something alive and will himself sound the depths of his own being
